When I first saw him, I was starstruck and intimidated.įrom that moment, I tried so hard to avoid coming into close contact with M. Girls would line up outside his classroom just to get a glimpse of him. A member of the national sports team, M was extremely charming, well-built, and well-mannered. If frat boy hierarchy was a thing, he’d be right on top. I met my best friend, M, in junior college. And I only stuck to those stereotypes because they were my truth or reference points up till then. Expressing femininity was just blasphemousīut as a gay male who increasingly got exposed to the world, I knew deep-down I felt different.It is not appropriate to express ‘love’ or ‘affection’ to anyone of the same gender.Showing emotions was a sign of weakness.So yes, I held on to the toxic notion that as a male: Most of our parents saw gender as a direct relation to sexuality. I Slept With Multiple Men To Get Over My Ex, Only To Get A HIV Scare.īeing ‘gay’ just means we’re sexually attracted to other males, but a whole part of our pre-revelation experience is quite synonymous with most heterosexual males.
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